I had expected the call but when it came, I was startled! The alumni association always called around this time of the year. But this meet was much more than a general alumni meet. Over one thousand ex-students were attending. I knew that SHE would come. SHE always came where HE came. It hadn’t changed over the past several years and I didn’t think it would change now. Surprisingly, even after all these years, I had a strange yearning to get into HIS shoes. To clasp my hands around HERS’ and walk into the school!!! Illogical dreams-I thought to myself. As always, I decided against going. But then, her beautiful deep-set eyes, rounded face and fragrant hair weakened my resolve in an instant.
“What colors does she like? ya! The earthy ones…brown is perfect! But do I have a brown? OH hell! I would need to buy one! No time man---just two days to go.”I hurriedly clambered onto my bike and headed to the nearest mall. Having found a perfect shirt in my first attempt, I was surprised. It had never happened in the past. “Ah! God is with me this time”, I thought.
By the time I returned home, random thoughts about her had begun to float in caverns of my mind. She was the perpetual tomboy—always bullying guys. When that did not work, as was often the case, she knew exactly how to use her girly charms, emotional blackmail or just one pleading look. How that ‘look’ melted the guys with steely resolves remains a mystery to me.
I had once gotten into a brawl with someone who had said a few derogatory things about her. She had giggled, “You look so cute with that bandage on your nose.” I had gladly preserved that bandage for two months. Even in that tender age, she had given me a purpose, a determination, a desire and courage of unimaginable proportions. I had wondered at how much I could do just because she had wanted me to! In the class, my eyes never lost hers, hanging on every word she said and I repeated everything to myself as it reminded me of her. I learned, I prayed, I did the Homeworks for her. FOR HER!!
But for some odd reason, she was always busy with others, always looking at me but never seeing. Nevertheless, she always lovingly planted a kiss on my cheek whenever I asked her opinion on things. How could she be so loving?? Always patient, never angry at my silly questions. My present success as an engineer was very much due to her likeness for physics. HER assignments that I did and what not! I wondered at the capabilities of love, marvelled at what a little support could do. I had always wondered how SHE could change me so much.
All these things reminded me of my own failures. How irresponsible and uncaring I had been. Always preoccupied, running the rat race of exams, competitions, entrance tests, etc.I had come so far on the path that I walked with her that I forgot where it all began. Not his time I thought to myself. !!
On the much-awaited day, I saw her come. As usual,with HIS hand in HERS’. I believed I was incapable of jealousy, but yet again she managed to evolve a new dimension of my personality. And then SHE finally saw me. The same eyes that removed all doubts, fears, apprehensions, trepidations and pain!
HER eyes met MINE.
The proud eyes of an engineer with ISRO. I was drawn to her as if in a trance, neglecting all the people who were calling my name or waving their hands to call me.
“So! How are you? It’s been a long time. I was wondering what you are up to? HE has become an engineer now!
DAMN HIM!!I wanted to jump out of the window and would definitely have done so if we hadn’t been on the ground floor. I was aghast! The focal point of our communication as gone! By the way, HE had grown taller than US both by now. I somehow mustered courage and said, -“ I am an engineer too! At ISRO.” I hoped she would gape in excitement and hug me. But she just said calmly—“I know! You were always capable of that. And your girlfriend? Hows she? An engineer too I suppose?”
I was shocked. There was not a slightest hint of anger, disappointment or disgust in her voice. Even today, she did not question my absence over the years. I was suddenly overcome by guilt at having been careless about our relationship. I dragged her to the dais before she could shoot her next question and grabbed the mike. I could see hundreds of eyes looking at me and heard one big whisper turning into a loud murmur. But determination to do what I HAD to focussed my energy on what I was saying.
I raised my hand and said,
“Whenever we tread the path of life, we meet numerous people, live in numerous situations and make numerous decisions. But among those numerous people, there are just a few who make you feel alive, value your judgements, trust your instincts, allow your imagination to take flight, support you through ordeals as a friend, philosopher and guide!
SHE is one such person, Today I want to tell her what I have been wanting to say forever. I want to tell her that I want her to be by my side. ALWAYS.!! To encourage my decisions, lend confidence when I falter and teach me when I fail. On behalf of the entire batch, wish to say---THANK YOU MAM!! For being there all these years, and making me what I am. Thank you for forgiving my mistakes. I want to thank you for your endless patience, endurance and determination. For being a true teacher, helping us to explore, question as well as find answers. And I want to say sorry. For neglecting you. For forgetting you and not turning up when you had wanted us to.”
The room thundered with applause. She only smiled with tears flowing from her eyes. Her son walked up to the stage and held her hand. HE always did. But her free hand was with me and we walked down together. I finally decided to make friends with HIM. She smiled for the rest of the evening. And HE told me that she smiled forever after that.
I was wondering how amazingly she had yet again forgiven me for not telling her about my selection to IIT, about my placement, about my girlfriend, now my wife! I thought I was unpardonable. But that is how teachers are. SHE didn’t complaint. Instead found ways to celebrate my success and rejoiced in my achievements. I learned another lesson form her. BE selfless in love. Its not mathematics after all! Never forget people or forget to thank them and NEVER EVER skip the alumni meet.!!
